Being in Love vs Being Obsessed: The Difference.

The key difference between being “in love” and being “obsessed” lies in the ability to maintain balance especially for your mental health. If someone begins to neglect their responsibilities, health, or safety, it may indicate an unhealthy fixation.

At the beginning of a new relationship, each partner may feel a thrilling excitement as they learn more about one another and explore their deepening connection.

In some relationships, however, it can be difficult to distinguish between genuine affection and unhealthy obsession. This confusion can lead a person to neglect their mental and physical health or even place their partner in danger.

Here’s more about obsessive behavior in relationships, what causes it, and how you can identify potential signs in yourself or a partner.

What can obsessive behavior in relationships look like?

Relationships change and evolve over time. During the “honeymoon” phase, for example, partners may feel an irresistible desire to be with one another and can’t imagine spending time apart.

As time progresses, though, certain red flags may emerge that signal a shift to obsession. For example:

• thinking about a partner so much that it interferes with daily life
• overlooking flaws and believing a partner can “do no wrong”
• experiencing extreme emotional highs and lows based on how the relationship is going
• constantly needing reassurance or validation from a partner
• going out of the way to please a partner, often at the expense of their own well-being
• feeling threatened by a partner’s interactions with family or friends
• interpreting every interaction for hidden meanings
• prioritizing a partner over all other friends, family, or self
• trying to control a partner’s actions or feelings
• fantasizing about a future together despite not knowing each other very well

What is obsessive love disorder?

 People with obsessive love disorder may have intense, compulsive feelings for another person. They may confuse these feelings with genuine love, and these emotions may persist even if they’re not reciprocated.

It’s important to note that this disorder is not a recognized condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

What causes obsessive behavior in relationships?

There’s no one cause of obsessive love in relationships. Instead, these behaviors may be related to a number of different mental health conditions, including:

• obsessive-compulsive relationship disorder: can cause a person to feel intrusive thoughts, doubts, and preoccupations about their relationship to the point of distress
• attachment disorders: can cause excessive Trusted Source feelings of familiarity with acquaintances or strangers
• borderline personality disorder: can cause severe mood changes, extreme ways of thinking, low self-esteem, and fear of abandonment
• delusional jealousy: can cause paranoia in relationships (for example, that a partner is cheating)
• erotomania: can cause delusions that the object of desire is similarly smitten
• limerence: characterized by obsessive thoughts and feelings that lead to unhealthy behaviors

How do you stop being obsessive in a relationship?

Understanding what a healthy relationship looks like can help you identify obsessive behaviors you have in your relationships.

A healthy relationship is a partnership where you each work together to solve problems and communicate openly and honestly. This looks like:

• making decisions together
• respecting one another
• maintaining friendships/interests outside the relationship
• valuing each partner’s need for space and privacy

Acknowledging your behaviors are obsessive is the first step to getting help. Beyond that, consider:

• individual therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, which provides the opportunity to explore the underlying reasons for your behaviors and offers tools to form healthier habits
• couples therapy, which may be an option if all partners are committed to having a healthy relationship
• medications, which may help in cases related to diagnosed mental health disorders; for example, people with OCD may benefit from taking antidepressants like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)

You can begin your journey with us for Individual therapy or Couples therapy, we are here for you!

How can you tell if your partner is becoming obsessed with you?

It can be difficult to tell the difference between love and obsession. If you’re concerned your relationship may be turning obsessive, ask yourself the following questions:

• Does my partner have friends and interests outside the relationship?
• Is my partner neglecting their health or overall well-being to please me?
• Does my partner seem jealous of my relationships with friends and/or family?
• Is my partner experiencing wild mood changes related to aspects of our relationship?
• Does my partner overanalyze or pick apart our interactions?
• Is my partner constantly seeking validation from me?
• Do any other behaviors they display seem excessive or unhealthy to the point of interfering with everyday life?

Leaving a relationship may feel daunting, especially if your partner is displaying obsessive behaviors.

Be open about your feelings and set clear boundaries. If you have concerns that your situation may turn abusive or violent, you may also consider reaching out to us for help to leave the relationship safely.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, (call 9-1-1), if your area does not have a 9-1-1 service, call your local police emergency number

The bottom line

Recognizing obsessive behaviors in relationships and the dynamics of obsessive love is critical for cultivating healthy relationships. If you or someone you love struggles with these patterns, don’t hesitate to seek support.

You may find it beneficial to connect us to offer therapy or treatment for underlying conditions that lead to obsessive behaviors.